Sunday, June 18, 2017


Dear President Godzilla
This is the first thank you note I have ever written to a walking, talking, lying, sack of shit. So first let me say thank you for getting it off my bucket list.
Watching you flush the world down the toilet has been tough. I needed something to make it possible to read and watch the news every day. Substance abuse doesn't do it for me so here is what I came up with.
When your presidency crashes through its alternative universe bubble, goes into a tailspin and disintegrates on re-entry into earth’s fact based atmosphere there is a potential that you will have done greater long term damage to the Republican brand than could have been done by any of the other bozos in the Republican primary clown car.
If the country can avoid being trapped in the wreckage and if we can prevent the Republicans, now humping you, from wiping their fingerprints from the crime scene  there is hope for our future.
That’s it. It’s  my own pathetic little “happy place” that I can run to every time I have to look at your face. It’s all Ive got right now. I wanted to thank you for it.

Sunday, April 23, 2017

This photo of stone age knuckle scrapers Sarah Palin with Ted Nugent (and whoever Kid Rock is) humping President Godzilla in the oval office caused the news staff at Barking at Traffic to announce that they were taking some time off for a prolonged vomit.  

The White House has been hijacked by the darkest, hate filled sectors of our society. The gears of American history have been jammed into reverse and the pedal is to the metal.

Thursday, February 09, 2017


Dear Democratic Party
Its me Bob
While President  Godzilla inflicts grievous harm to the United States internationally and domestically the next threat is that Republicans who have sold their souls to the devil will find a way to slither away from the wreckage to avoid crippling harm to the Republican brand.

While Democrats are trying to save the country and the planet from Godzilla the Republican Party can't be allowed to wipe their fingerprints from the crime scene.

Mitch McConnell Sees ‘High Level of Satisfaction’ With Trump Administration NYT 2/9/17

Tuesday, January 17, 2017


"How well Your Majesty's new clothes look. Aren't they becoming!" He heard on all sides, "That pattern, so perfect! Those colors, so suitable! It is a magnificent outfit."
Then the minister of public processions announced: "Your Majesty's canopy is waiting outside."
"Well, I'm supposed to be ready," the Emperor said, and turned again for one last look in the mirror. "It is a remarkable fit, isn't it?" He seemed to regard his costume with the greatest interest.
The noblemen who were to carry his train stooped low and reached for the floor as if they were picking up his mantle. Then they pretended to lift and hold it high. They didn't dare admit they had nothing to hold.

From The Emporer's New Clothes" by 
Hans Christian Andersen 1837

Thursday, January 12, 2017


And by the way, Mexico has been so nice, so nice. I respect the government of Mexico. I respect the people of Mexico. I love the people of Mexico. I have many people from Mexico working for me. They’re phenomenal people.
A little additional background from Wikipedia brought to you by the Barking at Traffic Institute of Reptilian Douchebag Blowhard Studies
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a long-term pattern of abnormal behavior characterized by exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a lack of understanding of others' feelings.[4][5] People affected by it often spend a lot of time thinking about achieving power or success, or about their appearance. They often take advantage of the people around them. The behavior typically begins by early adulthood, and occurs across a variety of situations.[5]

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Good morning class

Raise hands if you feel like we are living in an apocalyptic horror movie about a huge stinking slimy slug oozing its way to Washington where in 12 days it will seize control of the United States government.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

How Dost Thou Maketh me Nauseous

Elizabeth Barrett Browning on the President elect

How dost thou maketh me nauseous
Let me count the ways
With every Richie Rich adolescent tweet thou sends me reaching out of sight for the porcelain alter like a burrito bowl from Trump Tower Grill
Thou maketh me puke as you turn over the government to angry generals with explosive egos and billionaires who see the world as you do — a pussy to be grabbethed.
But nothing makes me want to tosseth my cookies more than your chest thumping gloats about the end of “political correctness ” because everyone knows you mean the end of decency and compassion.
. . .
Elizabeth also weighed in during the campaign…/elizabeth-barrett-bro…

Saturday, December 10, 2016

OK OK OK My brain is just about wrapped around this thing.

It's like the stages of grief. First there was shock and disbelief.
We woke up to find out that overnight there had been a coup.

Now there is numb resignation as we settle into a new normal peering  through the curtains to watch Commandante Nutjob heading to the Palace surrounded by his inner circle of generals and cronies.

Tuesday, December 06, 2016

Hacked Tweet from Trumpusconi to Ben Carson

great question  - sorry for delay in answering – boys just finished drawings for West Bank golf course   not sure what HUD is either  - Think of it like  hiring me to be surgeon  for conjoined twins you didn't give a fuck about 

Friday, September 30, 2016


Good evening

Donald you are a ridiculous lying piece of shit. You have never cared about anyone but yourself and now you want the keys to the country and the world.

For fuksake sake  - you owned a casino where the house always wins by separating fools from their money and you drove it over a cliff.

Your values are so horrible that David Duke thinks you’re the greatest thing since no iron sheets and you pretend to not know who he is.

You are hiding your tax returns because you think its ok to pay no taxes to run the country where people fly and drive to pay you money at your golf courses, hotels and condos.

Your idea of education policy is getting desperate people to give you their life savings by setting up a fake university selling fake dreams.

So far the only maybe true thing I have heard out of your mouth is what you said in a nationally televised debate, watched by children across America, about the size of your genitals. I believe what you said because a guy who cheats on two wives and jokes about being sexually attracted to his own daughter and then blames me for my husband’s inability to keep his fly zipped has definitely got balls the size of Mexico.

I want you to know that every time you interrupt me like you did the last time, my supporters - especially woman who know what it's like to have to quietly smile while listening to sexist blowhard morons all day - will make an on line donation. They can do this by going to

I have made mistakes and I will learn from them. I also have the experience, judgment, stamina and skill set to keep this country prosperous and safe. For you politics is a reality TV/professional wrestling bullshit festival.   Heaven help us if you win this thing.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Trump's Updated Medical Report


I have been asked to amplify the half page medical report I prepared for Donald Trump in December 2015. When I said "If elected, Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency", I meant to end that sentence with - believe me".

Some people in the rigged media have asked why I said nothing about why he sees a gastroenterologist  for his annual check up. First all, let me just say that he has the finest gastro I have ever seen. He found me because he read my best selling book - "How to Get People to Like You Even Though You Are a Loud Mouth Fat Guy That Makes Stuff Up".

Donald Trump is an amazingly disciplined man who has successfully maintained that extra 65 pounds by following the strict regimen I recommend in my book of at least one bucket of fried chicken or a grande burrito bowl per day.

As I said in my report,  "Mr. Trump has had a recent complete medical examination that showed only positive results" and "laboratory test results that were astonishingly excellent". The date of that examination, the details of what tests were performed, the  "astonishingly excellent" results and which tests results came back "positive", will not be released until his IRS audit is complete. The only thing America needs to know about Donald Trump is that when he said he has a large penis - speaking as his gastroenterologist - you can trust him. Believe me.