Thursday, February 09, 2017


Dear Democratic Party
Its me Bob
While President  Godzilla inflicts grievous harm to the United States internationally and domestically the next threat is that Republicans who have sold their souls to the devil will find a way to slither away from the wreckage to avoid crippling harm to the Republican brand.

While Democrats are trying to save the country and the planet from Godzilla the Republican Party can't be allowed to wipe their fingerprints from the crime scene.

Mitch McConnell Sees ‘High Level of Satisfaction’ With Trump Administration NYT 2/9/17

Tuesday, January 17, 2017


"How well Your Majesty's new clothes look. Aren't they becoming!" He heard on all sides, "That pattern, so perfect! Those colors, so suitable! It is a magnificent outfit."
Then the minister of public processions announced: "Your Majesty's canopy is waiting outside."
"Well, I'm supposed to be ready," the Emperor said, and turned again for one last look in the mirror. "It is a remarkable fit, isn't it?" He seemed to regard his costume with the greatest interest.
The noblemen who were to carry his train stooped low and reached for the floor as if they were picking up his mantle. Then they pretended to lift and hold it high. They didn't dare admit they had nothing to hold.

From The Emporer's New Clothes" by 
Hans Christian Andersen 1837

Thursday, January 12, 2017


And by the way, Mexico has been so nice, so nice. I respect the government of Mexico. I respect the people of Mexico. I love the people of Mexico. I have many people from Mexico working for me. They’re phenomenal people.
A little additional background from Wikipedia brought to you by the Barking at Traffic Institute of Reptilian Douchebag Blowhard Studies
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a long-term pattern of abnormal behavior characterized by exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a lack of understanding of others' feelings.[4][5] People affected by it often spend a lot of time thinking about achieving power or success, or about their appearance. They often take advantage of the people around them. The behavior typically begins by early adulthood, and occurs across a variety of situations.[5]

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Good morning class

Raise hands if you feel like we are living in an apocalyptic horror movie about a huge stinking slimy slug oozing its way to Washington where in 12 days it will seize control of the United States government.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

How Dost Thou Maketh me Nauseous

Elizabeth Barrett Browning on the President elect

How dost thou maketh me nauseous
Let me count the ways
With every Richie Rich adolescent tweet thou sends me reaching out of sight for the porcelain alter like a burrito bowl from Trump Tower Grill
Thou maketh me puke as you turn over the government to angry generals with explosive egos and billionaires who see the world as you do — a pussy to be grabbethed.
But nothing makes me want to tosseth my cookies more than your chest thumping gloats about the end of “political correctness ” because everyone knows you mean the end of decency and compassion.
. . .
Elizabeth also weighed in during the campaign…/elizabeth-barrett-bro…

Saturday, December 10, 2016

OK OK OK My brain is just about wrapped around this thing.

It's like the stages of grief. First there was shock and disbelief.
We woke up to find out that overnight there had been a coup.

Now there is numb resignation as we settle into a new normal peering  through the curtains to watch Commandante Nutjob heading to the Palace surrounded by his inner circle of generals and cronies.

Tuesday, December 06, 2016

Hacked Tweet from Trumpusconi to Ben Carson

great question  - sorry for delay in answering – boys just finished drawings for West Bank golf course   not sure what HUD is either  - Think of it like  hiring me to be surgeon  for conjoined twins you didn't give a fuck about 

Friday, September 30, 2016


Good evening

Donald you are a ridiculous lying piece of shit. You have never cared about anyone but yourself and now you want the keys to the country and the world.

For fuksake sake  - you owned a casino where the house always wins by separating fools from their money and you drove it over a cliff.

Your values are so horrible that David Duke thinks you’re the greatest thing since no iron sheets and you pretend to not know who he is.

You are hiding your tax returns because you think its ok to pay no taxes to run the country where people fly and drive to pay you money at your golf courses, hotels and condos.

Your idea of education policy is getting desperate people to give you their life savings by setting up a fake university selling fake dreams.

So far the only maybe true thing I have heard out of your mouth is what you said in a nationally televised debate, watched by children across America, about the size of your genitals. I believe what you said because a guy who cheats on two wives and jokes about being sexually attracted to his own daughter and then blames me for my husband’s inability to keep his fly zipped has definitely got balls the size of Mexico.

I want you to know that every time you interrupt me like you did the last time, my supporters - especially woman who know what it's like to have to quietly smile while listening to sexist blowhard morons all day - will make an on line donation. They can do this by going to

I have made mistakes and I will learn from them. I also have the experience, judgment, stamina and skill set to keep this country prosperous and safe. For you politics is a reality TV/professional wrestling bullshit festival.   Heaven help us if you win this thing.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Trump's Updated Medical Report


I have been asked to amplify the half page medical report I prepared for Donald Trump in December 2015. When I said "If elected, Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency", I meant to end that sentence with - believe me".

Some people in the rigged media have asked why I said nothing about why he sees a gastroenterologist  for his annual check up. First all, let me just say that he has the finest gastro I have ever seen. He found me because he read my best selling book - "How to Get People to Like You Even Though You Are a Loud Mouth Fat Guy That Makes Stuff Up".

Donald Trump is an amazingly disciplined man who has successfully maintained that extra 65 pounds by following the strict regimen I recommend in my book of at least one bucket of fried chicken or a grande burrito bowl per day.

As I said in my report,  "Mr. Trump has had a recent complete medical examination that showed only positive results" and "laboratory test results that were astonishingly excellent". The date of that examination, the details of what tests were performed, the  "astonishingly excellent" results and which tests results came back "positive", will not be released until his IRS audit is complete. The only thing America needs to know about Donald Trump is that when he said he has a large penis - speaking as his gastroenterologist - you can trust him. Believe me.

Saturday, September 10, 2016

THREE BULLET REVIEWS FROM LONDON - The Entertainer, Groundhog Day and 946 The Amazing Story of Adolphus Tips

Greetings from a week in London where the no parking signs have a number you can call if you need to clarify what WARNING PARKING SUSPENDED means.

The Entertainer, Garrick Theatre

In the Olympic spirit, I am proud to announce that as the house lights went down for the Entertainer I set a new world record for the fastest a 64 year old Jew ever fell asleep in a play.
Every time I came to nothing new had happened in this equally tired resurrection of a1957 drama, with Kenneth Branagh, which originally starred Sir Laurence Olivier. It’s the story of an aging song and dance man, his failed relationships and self destructive life decisions. Just when you think that life could not possibly be more miserable for these people the police arrive with news that their son was killed in the Suez.
This play may have resonated in the 1950s psyche of the fading British Empire, but every Brit we mentioned it to had the same reaction - horrible play by a horrible man (John Osborne). Unless you have incurable insomnia, put this one on your must not see list.

   Groundhog Day, The Old Vic Theatre 

The exercise of waking up in a world where
nothing is new was good preparation for Groundhog Day, an upbeat, fun and well done musical adaption of the 1993 Harold Ramis, movie.

Andy Karl, whose Broadway credits include Jersey Boys, does a wonderful job as the sleazy, pretty boy TV weatherman sent to Punxsutawney, Pa. for Groundhog Day where he finds himself trapped in a closed psychic loop that repeats itself each morning. The staging of this sci-fi tale of nightmarish repetition is skillful but more than once I found myself longing for a fast forward button.

   946 The Amazing Story of Adolphus Tips, 
   The Globe Theatre

            This is an exciting production of a play by Michael Morpurgo, (War Horse) performed in the open air Globe Theatre. The story is based on a children’s book about Black US GIs in a small Cornwall town that gets taken over in 1944 by US troops as part of a disastrous D day landing rehearsal
             Director Emma Rice, has taken a tragic war time drama and infused it with physical comedy, puppetry, acrobatic dancing and great music. At times members of the breathtakingly talented cast climb a ladder to join the band on an overhanging ledge and then return to the stage by sliding down a pole.
             There is a stand out performance by Katy Owen in the role of the little girl at the center of the story. Ms. Owen does some wonderfully funny things with her body and her voice.
This is a kid’s story that promotes itself as suitable for ages 7+. The nearby mother, hugging her sobbing little girl at the play’s saddest moment might not agree with that.
 A versatile cast of dancers, singers and musicians playing multiple parts, rocked the house  which included 100’s of young people, who bought 5 pound tickets to stand for 2 /1/2 hours in the open area of the Globe Theatre.  We looked down on them from our benches with rented cushions and seat backs. 
It's a safe bet that if the Bard was watching the show from the rafters - he was smiling.

Good news- It's coming to St. Ann's Warehouse for a run in March and April 2017.