Trump's Updated Medical Report

Trump's Updated Medical Report

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2016

I have been asked to amplify the half page medical report I prepared for Donald Trump in December 2015. When I said "If elected, Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency", I meant to end that sentence with - believe me".

Some people in the rigged media have asked why I said nothing about why he sees a gastroenterologist  for his annual check up. First all, let me just say that he has the finest gastro I have ever seen. He found me because he read my best selling book - "How to Get People to Like You Even Though You Are a Loud Mouth Fat Guy That Makes Stuff Up".

Donald Trump is an amazingly disciplined man who has successfully maintained that extra 65 pounds by following the strict regimen I recommend in my book of at least one bucket of fried chicken or a grande burrito bowl per day.

As I said in my report,  "Mr. Trump has had a recent complete medical examination that showed only positive results" and "laboratory test results that were astonishingly excellent". The date of that examination, the details of what tests were performed, the  "astonishingly excellent" results and which tests results came back "positive", will not be released until his IRS audit is complete. The only thing America needs to know about Donald Trump is that when he said he has a large penis - speaking as his gastroenterologist - you can trust him. Believe me.