Dear Hillary
It’s me Bob.
I have some advice about dealing with the snake oil selling gas bag.
You’re the smartest kid in the class running for class president against the class clown.
When you’re standing in front of the room explaining how you got the correct answer on the math homework he’s the jerk in the back of the room cracking kids up by making fart noises with his armpits. He is doing this because he did not do the homework and has no clue what the class is about.
The smartest kid in the class never gets votes by trying to make fart noises. It’s a highly developed skill that should only be attempted by an experienced class clown. if you try it your fart noises won’t be as good as his and the other kids will think you’re pathetic.
You want the other kids to like you but it will be a disaster if you pretend to be someone you’re not.
Your position has got to be
I cant get better laughs than the class clown but I’m very smart and experienced and this is about electing the class president — not the class clown.
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By the way I voted for Bernie but now it’s all hands on deck to protect the country and the world from the Neanderthal forces of darkness.
Love
Bob
