My doctor, Dr. Obama, is retiring at the end of the year. I decided to interview one of the guys who wants to take over his practice - Dr. Trump. I took some notes.
Can you tell me a little about your background
and qualifications?
Well first let me tell you about my patients.
They are unbelievable and I actually think they like me a lot. People said to
me forget about medical school. Then suddenly I got in. I learned so much at
that place.
Do you have a philosophy?
I will knock the hell out of the big diseases, heart
disease, cancer - forget about them – gone! Im going to keep you healthy the
old fashioned way. We are going to start winning again and beat the hell out of
those risk factors. Those risks are just not going to happen any more ok -finished they are done. The greatest doctors
in the world call me all the time because they know that I know what Im talking about.
All of your doctors before me were stupid loser
hacks. I am going to make you so healthy
so fast you will not believe it.
Here’s the way it works I will just stop you from getting sick. We have to stop it and believe me I will stop it. So look, in a nutshell, Im going to make you so strong, so powerful so healthy no illness is going to mess with you, believe me – not one.
Here’s the way it works I will just stop you from getting sick. We have to stop it and believe me I will stop it. So look, in a nutshell, Im going to make you so strong, so powerful so healthy no illness is going to mess with you, believe me – not one.
What about the arthritis in my knee?
The problem is most doctors are losers who don’t win anything. With me as your doctor I will make your knee great again. Believe it or not, it's not even a difficult thing to do.
The problem is most doctors are losers who don’t win anything. With me as your doctor I will make your knee great again. Believe it or not, it's not even a difficult thing to do.
People say to me Dr. Trump please do something
to keep me from being sick I tell them diseases?
It's a huge problem. I will work like hell to take care of the situation. By the way I looked at your lab reports. Your cholesterol numbers are completely phony. It's much worse than they are telling you.
With me as your doctor I will have the best people figuring out what’s going on. Top notch people – believe me and I am going to end all the big diseases. One two three, I will end them that’s it no more. With me as your doctor you will have an immune system like you just would not believe. Trust me.
I got up and he walked me into the waiting room where people put down their magazines and started chanting
With me as your doctor I will have the best people figuring out what’s going on. Top notch people – believe me and I am going to end all the big diseases. One two three, I will end them that’s it no more. With me as your doctor you will have an immune system like you just would not believe. Trust me.
I got up and he walked me into the waiting room where people put down their magazines and started chanting
Trump. Trump. Trump. Trump. Trump. Trump.
Trump...
He said- this is so beautiful. What a group of
people.
You know, and on top of this group we have
thousands of people outside that can't even get in. That's what we have.
Thousands of people.
Trump.
Trump. Trump. Trump. Trump...
I am the
greatest doctor that God ever created. Remember that.
I stopped on the way home to buy a Valentines Day card to send to Dr. Obama.
I stopped on the way home to buy a Valentines Day card to send to Dr. Obama.
