Sunday, October 11, 2015

Dear Hillary, Here are the opening remarks you need to give at Tuesday night’s Democratic debate. Love Bob

Good evening
When I saw a recent poll that had me running even with Donald Trump I had a come to Jesus moment. That did it for me. I’m announcing tonight that I’m done being a contestant on a reality tv show.
I don’t do folksy and funny. I never have and never will So If you are looking for a president who you’d like to go out for a beer with then don’t vote for me. Even I would not want to go out for a beer with me.
Bernie Sanders and Martin O’Malley are good guys but neither of them have a snowball’s chance in hell of winning a national campaign. I have made mistakes and I will make more but we certainly can’t turn the country over to any one of those Republican snake oil selling gas bags with their 1950s Mad Men view of the world and women.
This is not professional wrestling folks. This is a national interview for the most important job on the planet. You can trust me with the keys. Thank you